ficeler37's Fanfic Bloopers
by ficeler37
Summary: Some of the MaiHime cast took a side job to act in ficeler37’s The Challenge and Riding the Roller Coaster. This is a collection of the bloopers that happened in the course of filming the mini series.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: OOPS - The Challenge (Ch 3, the scene where Natsuki is at _the _cliff and thinking about Shizuru)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime. Sometimes I dream about getting hired by Sunrise to write Omakes, hehe.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word count**: 426

**A/N**: Since people have expressed interest in my crack fics, I have decided to dedicate more of my time in this genre. Someone asked me to increase the Shiznat fluff in the crack fics, so this is what I came up with. Enjoy!

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Narrator: Last time on The Challenge …

Without planning on coming here, she nevertheless parks her bike next to the rail. Her long blue hair dances wildly under the influence of the capricious wind as Natsuki leans against the rail and stares out into the horizon. _Shizuru, are you leaving me once and for all? Are you abandoning me like my father did? Not you too, Shizuru…I miss you…_

Shizuru: Natsuki!

Shizuru charges passionately towards a startled Natsuki.

Natsuki: Shizuru? What are you doing here? This is supposed to be my monologue. Our first interaction scene doesn't come out for another chapter!

Shizuru: As if I can ignore my Natsuki's desperate pleas. (hand on flushed cheek)

Natsuki: CUT! Director! Where are you?

ficeler37's muffled screams can be heard on the side of the road.

Shizuru: _Nice, those spider webs I bought from Nao really came in handy. I think I need to stock up more._ (Just in case you are wondering how Shizuru racked up a bill of 10,000 yen in Hime-sentai's First Patrol.) Here I come, Natsuki!

The fangirl-possessed Shizuru tries to tackle Natsuki.

Natsuki: Hey, get off me! The rail is not strong enough to hold up the both of …

The iron bolts of the rail pop out.

Natsuki: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Shizuru chooses this inappropriate moment to grope Natsuki.

Shizuru and Natsuki both fall off the cliff.

On the way down …

Natsuki: DURAN!

Duran appears on the edge of the cliff.

Duran:  

Readers scratch head.

ficeler37's girlfriend hands translator earpieces to readers. (Courtesy of Youko from Mai-Otome)

The scene rewinds.

Duran: Don't look at me. I sink faster than a rock.

Duran snickers and backs away from the cliff.

Natsuki: Stupid metallic mechas! Shizuru, can't you call out Kiyohime? Since part of your child is the head of an octopus, Kiyohime should know how to swim, right?

Shizuru: Like you said, it's the head, and an octopus doesn't use its head to swim. You can't expect my babies Ichiko, Niko, Sanko, Yonko, Goko, and Rokuko to swing their heads around and act like they are tentacles. (shakes finger at Natsuki)

Natsuki: (sweat drops) You named the snake heads?

Shizuru: Easy for you to say when Duran only has one head. How did you think I trained my babies if I can't order them around individually?

Silence.

Natsuki finally remembers that she's still falling off the cliff.

Natuski: (high pitch scream)

Shizuru gropes Natsuki some more.

Up on the cliff …

Duran nibbles at the tied up ficeler37.

ficeler37's girlfriend calls 911.

THE END.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: OOPS - The Challenge (Ch 3, the scene where Mai text messages Shizuru.)  
**Author**: ficeler37  
**Note**: Don't own Mai-Hime, so don't sue.  
**Rating**: R for language and character death.  
**Word count**: 749

ficeler37: In the previous chapter, our heroines escaped from an ugly death on the rocks thanks to a timely rescue by Miyu, the robot who likes to pull off Superman stunts in her spare time. Now you might ask, what were the chances of Miyu flying around the cliff just as Shizuru and Natsuki were falling down? Well, it turns out that the rich bitch on the block …

Shizuru: (suddenly appears behind the director's chair) Kiyohime.

ficeler37: (cough cough) I mean, the eternally intelligent and beautiful Shizuru-sama had invested 5 of Fujino Corporation's stocks on a panic button that connects to Miyu. Alyssa is of course more than happy to have gained yet another investor for her Golden Era project.

Readers: (throws stones at ficeler37) Shut up already!

ficeler37: (dodges killer stones) Well then, on with the story!

Narrator: Last time on The Challenge …

Mai discreetly reaches for the cellphone underneath her desk, and starts tapping her nimble fingers on the keypad. "_Kaichou, Natsuki in trouble. Please bring someone who knows how to play pool to Fuka Pool Hall at 5 pm sharp. P.S. Don't mention my name." _As she clicks SEND, Mai feels like a big burden has been lifted off her chest. _I'll thank you someday, Nao-chan._

(beep beep beep)

Random sensei: Tokiha-san! Is that your cell phone ringing?

Mai: Uh … is it too late to say no?

Random sensei: OUT!

Mai (grumbles softly): Why the heck was my cell phone ringing? Normally it won't make a beep after I send a message.

Mai looks down at her cell phone.

Mai: (eyes widening) Error? Message not sent?

Up in space …

Miyu is doing her Superman thing with Alyssa on her shoulder.

Alyssa: Miyu, did you just knock over a satellite?

Miyu: Yes, Ojou-sama. It was in the way.

Alyssa: What kind of satellite was it?

Miyu: It says Xingular on the side. Activate initial analysis on the name. 99.9 percent chance that it is a TV satellite with pornographic programming for single people.

Alyssa: What's the remaining 0.01 percent?

Miyu: Unable to formulate an answer due to lack of power. Emergency activation of panic button by Fujino Shizuru had used up 90 percent of power an hour ago. Body functions are shutting down in 5 seconds. 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 …

Alyssa: And you couldn't have told me earlier?

Miyu and Alyssa can no longer defy gravity and thus start falling from space.

Alyssa: (shakes fist in the air) I hate you, Fujino!

Ten seconds later, the Earth trembles.

Back in Fuka High School …

Mai is standing outside her classroom with two buckets of water in hands.

Mai: Director! Someone needs to send a text message to Kaichou!

ficeler37: Well, the only person around here who is using a cell phone right now is Nao.

Mai: Then go!

ficeler37: (looks around) Shiho! You're not doing anything. You go!

Shiho: What? Why me? (veins pop up)

ficeler37: If you want to show up with your beloved Onii-chan at all in my new fic…

Shiho: Ok, bye! Materialize!

ficeler37: Hey! No using Otome powers outside the Mai-Otome universe!

Shiho lands at a bush behind where Nao is sitting.

Shiho: Maki Maki Maki! Die, Nao, Die!

Nao has goosebumps all over her body.

Shiho: Oh wait, almost forgot what I came to do. Guess habits die hard. Maki Maki Maki! Text message Kaichou, Nao, text message Kaichou!

Nao: What the hell? Why are my fingers moving by themselves? Now I'm sending a text message to that Kyoto bitch? Juliet!

Juliet eats Shiho before Nao is forced to press SEND.

ficeler37's girlfriend uses the school intercom to report on the gruesome death of Shiho.

ficeler37: Blah, that's okay. I was never going to use her in my fic anyways. Mai, try text messaging Shizuru again. It should work this time.

Mai: Really? Alright, if you said so.

A minute later …

Mai: Wow, it really worked. What did you do?

ficeler37: Shuush. Don't tell anyone. But I'm secretly the biggest stock holder of Searrs Foundation. I just blinked and they fixed the Xingular satellite for me.

Mai: (dangerously low voice) So it was you behind the Golden Era project … KAGUTSUCHI!

ficeler37 is burned to the crisp.

THE END.

Readers: Give us Shizuru and Natsuki! (throw more stones at ficeler37)

The stones magically transform into a gigantic writer's block knocking out ficeler37.

ficeler37 enters into a coma.

THE END. (Really, I mean it this time.)

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**A/N**: I promise I'll let Shiznat come out in the next blooper. Don't kill me. (pout)


End file.
